I take a deep breath and sip my coffee, looking over the cluttered mess on my desk. A stack of journals here, a sketchbook there, important official papers loosely piled together in one area, fake flowers and some bamboo sticks just lying around for no reason, a bunch of pens in a jar, a novel by Erica Jong, a doll I sewed for myself a few years back out of pink satin, a box I painted colorful shapes on with random art supplies in it. 

I play with my hair, twisting it nervously. My thoughts are turning around and around in my head. I keep going back to the same places in my mind and then running away from them. I'm trying to figure stuff out.