breathe, dip into the water and go under it all and hold yourself alone

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

ugh

So I let this creepy rich old guy kidnap me the other day and it was horrible and I started crying that I wanted to go home but he bitched me out. And I ended up stuck sleeping alone with him in this fucking hotel room out in the middle of fucking nowhere and all night, over and over and over, he kept attempting to seduce me. And when he rode me home finally in the morning, we had such an awkwardly quiet and cold angry vibe going on between us, we wouldn't even speak to one another at all even though the drive was more than an hour long, he just kept fiddling with the goddamn radio while I stared wistfully out the window. And every once in awhile he would look over at me and just sigh this really fucking pissy sigh, or I would look over at him and sigh a pissy sigh of my own. And when he let me out of the car in front of my house we could barely manage a pleasant goodbye. So now I'm in my room smoking the weed he gave me and feeling a high amount of self-loathing. Fucking Christ. I am such an idiot.

2 comments:

Jon said...

indeed...

been known to end up in precarious situations myself every once in a while...

but no creepy old men in skeety hotels in the middle of nowhere...

geesh... careful you... lots of time for dirt when we're in the ground...

Veronica said...

This isn't what you meant to do.
I know.

And I miss you.

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"Are you becoming what you always hated?" --- Charles Bukowski