breathe, dip into the water and go under it all and hold yourself alone

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

I feel like the shittiest person ever..

I decide to get absolutely as drunk as I possibly can before I break into peices.

Just to feel myself touch the edge.

If you knew me, and the music, and everything here, maybe you would understand a little better.

I suppose the environment you surround yourself in does reflect a bit of something about your character, but it isn't everything.

"Have you forgotten how to love yourself?" ~Red House Painters

"The trouble with having an open mind, of course, is that people will insist on coming along and trying to put things in it."

~Terry Pratchett

Monday, May 18, 2009

always lost

It's in my art, and the way that I dress, and the way that I carry myself, and the thoughts and feelings I put out there for the world to take on. And it's all about the way that I take the world in, how I see the time go by from my own personal perspective. It's in everything I know and everything I fail to realize. And I'll never be able to put my finger on it and own that spark of life, now will I? I'm always going to be lost.

Thursday, May 14, 2009


Fucking alterior motives!!!! God damn it!!!


Monday, May 11, 2009

fucked UUUUUUUUUUUUUP !!!!!!


Saturday, May 02, 2009

I am avoiding---
Oh, shit. I can’t tell you. 
I don’t know how to. 

But it’s like…I wish I had the guts.
And this room is supposed to be beautiful 
but I don’t want to look at anything.
Nothing moves me 
And I don’t feel happy. I feel---

I can’t stop twisting my hair around my fingers. 
And there’s a funny taste in my mouth.
The aftertaste of banana. 
Not so sweet.

What am I trying to say?
No, I can’t say it. 
I don’t want to think anymore.
It’s nothing.
"I'm bored with looking good."

~the teddybears
My photo
mind open, heart enlarged, soul receptive

I love my followers.

"Are you becoming what you always hated?" --- Charles Bukowski