breathe, dip into the water and go under it all and hold yourself alone

Tuesday, November 22, 2016


"I have so many sandwiches, you don't even know. It's ridiculous," I tell Justin happily as i flop into the front seat.

He looks distracted out the car window at my coworker who is waving frantically at us from inside the shop. "I think that guy is trying to tell you something," he says.

"Hmm, I'll be right back." I run back into the shop, and my coworker is holding my bag of sandwiches. "Shit! Thank you!" I exclaim as i grab them and run out.

I hop back in the car. "So these are my sandwiches," i tell him, opening the bag up wide. "Look at this!"

"Wait-were you just bragging earlier about sandwiches you didn't actually have? That is hilarious."

"Shut up."

We begin our hunt for homeless people. It's hard to find them late at night like this. In the daytime they're everywhere. Then at night they tuck in to sleep and only the crazy night owls are still roaming around. But even those guys are hard to find.

We drive around for a minute and i spot a sleeping bag with a human shaped lump in it outside a Jack In the Box. "Pull over!" I demand. "I think i found one!!!" He parks in Jack's lot and i rush out towards the lump in the bag. When I'm close i see the lump is definitely a person, with their face covered by a newspaper.

I feel bad bc i figure whoever is in that sleeping bag is obviously sleeping but i have sandwiches to get rid of and they aren't going to eat themselves. I decide to wake the person up by asking loudly, "HEY DO YOU WANT A SANDWICH?" An arm reaches out to grab the newspaper and the bleary eyed face of a weathered middle aged lady peeks out at me in confusion, mumbling for a moment before asking me, "Sandwich?" At which point i thrust it into her hand and run like the wind.

Justin and i decide to take the rest of this venture on foot. We're walking down the most ghetto road we can find in our vicinity, cuzz that's where homeless ppl are more likely to be.

"Is that a homeless person?" Justin asks me, pointing across the street at a human sized lump covered in black trash bags that i realize upon closer inspection is actually just bags of trash. No," I reply, disappointed. "That's just trash." It's an awkward moment when you mistake a pile of trash for a human. But if homeless ppl don't want to be associated with trash bags, they should stop accessorizing with them all the damn time.

Finally Justin notices an open umbrella sheltering somebody who is sitting next to a shopping cart full of junk. "That's definitely a homeless person!" I declare. We rush towards the figure under the umbrella. They are covered entirely in a dirty white blanket, even their face, like they are in a giant cocoon.

"WOULD YOU LIKE A SANDWICH?"  I address the blanket loudly. The blanket rustles and out pops an old black lady with a toothless grin who is very excited to see us. I show her all the sandwiches i have and we discuss the selection. Eventually we decide she should just take them all. The more we talk the stronger the scent of pee gets. It's wafting up right under my nose. But i don't care. She's very grateful and her smile is heartwarming. This is exactly what i wanted to happen. To make somebody happy.

We skip away, mission accomplished, all my sandwiches gone. I can only hope those two ladies enjoyed their sandwiches.

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